 The many
ways to abuse a child
The National Post, Diane Francis, Saturday, November 22, 2003
Last week, I saw a woman at a counter in a department store violently yank her toddler by the arm, then
verbally threaten him. From where I stood she was physically and emotionally abusing a tiny boy who had done
nothing wrong. None of those who watched could do anything.
The incident was upsetting but hardly rare. Rough treatment and verbal abuse of children is commonplace
in malls, street corners and restaurants. Some professionals believe there is an epidemic of bad parenting
out there. Just ask any teacher how many emotionally damaged children are in their classrooms. Just ask any
psychiatrist or any prison warden.
That's why it's curious, as governments impose tough new governance guidelines on business leaders to
protect investors and the economy, none dare venture into the area of parental governance in order to
protect children and our society.
One of the problems in tackling this distressing social issue is that child abuse is too narrowly
defined. The abusive mother in the store could only be charged if she left bruises, not because she is
leaving emotional scars. Pop star Michael Jackson can only be charged, as he was this week, with child
molestation; but he remains unpunished, or unchastened, after he displayed parental neglect by dangling his
infant son outside a fourth-storey window for the cameras.
Such bad parenting, or "child maltreatment," must be addressed because its long-term effects are
disastrous not only for the victims but for society. Today's abused toddler will be crippled permanently
without intervention, growing up dysfunctional, violent, angry, depressed or all four. He or she may abuse
his or her own children or turn to crime. Despite such obvious dangers to society, governments are not even
gathering information as to the extent of the problem.
The first nationwide survey into child abuse and neglect was based on 1998 data and published in 2001 by
Health Canada. The report, entitled The Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect, was
based on 7,672 child maltreatment investigations by 51 child welfare agencies in all provinces and
territories, as well as three aboriginal services, in the last three months of 1998.
The definition of maltreatment was explained in the report: "Unlike abuse, which is usually
incident-specific, neglect often involves chronic situations that are not as easily identified. Emotional
maltreatment involves acts or omissions by parents or caregivers that cause or could cause serious
behavioural, cognitive, emotional or mental disorders. It can include verbal threats, socially isolating a
child, intimidation, exploitation, terrorizing, or routinely making unreasonable demands on a child."
Researchers estimated there were 21.52 investigations of child maltreatment per 1,000 Canadian children,
with 45% substantiated, 22% unresolved and 33% unsubstantiated. The research showed that neglect and
emotional abuse were more common than physical or sexual abuse.
Child maltreatment cuts across socio-economic lines. Middle-class kids are being raised by appliances,
such as televisions and computers, without parental involvement or guidance. Such neglect leads to trouble,
poor study habits or worse. The new movie about the Columbine High School massacre, Elephant, demonstrated a
chilling disregard on the part of one killer's parents. Their son was obsessed with violent video games and
guns, and was accumulating weapons in a bedroom decorated with neo-Nazi and Hitler posters. How could they
not have known?
Even wealthy or ambitious mothers are now routinely outsourcing their parental role to nannies who may,
or may not, care emotionally or effectively for their children. Two years ago, I called an ambitious Toronto
lawyer to report to her that her nanny had manhandled her three-year-old in front of me and others at a
tennis club. She was fired immediately, but Heaven knows how long that child had been abused by that
employee and how much damage had already occurred to his self-image.
The story's the same for the less fortunate. Daycares are professionally supervised and, for the most
part, provide enlightened parenting, but financially strapped parents often rely on bargain-basement care in
the form of elderly relatives or neighbours who are untrained and may be abusive. Still others recklessly
leave their children unsupervised.
Clearly, governments must get their heads around this in partnership with educators and health care
providers. Perhaps what's needed is a powerful Children's Protectorate whose mandate would be to educate
parents, punish them and retrain them as well as to keep a registry of bad parents; to lobby for better laws
and co-operation among jurisdictions and to intervene in court cases. While interventionist, it takes a
village to raise a child. But now in our impersonal, urban society a substitute must be found.
- - -
In my list of Liberal abuses last week, I inadvertently neglected to attribute a number of the entries to
the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, whose research has uncovered so much government waste over the years.
Copyright 2003 National Post
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