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Behind the angry Baldwin verbal attack
The San Diego Union-Tribune, San Diego, California,
U.S.A., By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks, April 27,
2007
Alec Baldwin's angry, over-the-top voice-mail tirade
at his daughter, Ireland, was clearly wrong.
Unfortunately, while we've been wringing our hands over
how bad Balwin is, we're ignoring the case's central
truth €“ Kim Basinger's well-documented parental
alienation campaign against Baldwin.
Parental alienation often arises after a divorce, as one
angry, vengeful parent tries to turn the children
against the other parent, destroying the loving bonds
the children and the target parent once enjoyed. Baldwin
claims that his outburst occurred in the context of
Basinger alienating Ireland and trying to drive him out
of his daughter's life.
This claim appears to have merit. In fact, Basinger's
own mother has publicly condemned her behavior. Ann
Basinger, Ireland's grandmother, calls Baldwin a
€œwonderful€ parent, and says:
€œMy heart is sad for Ireland. She's the one that's
suffering the most. All this is killing her. I think Kim
has tried to alienate Ireland from her father. Alec
loves his daughter with all his heart. He really is a
family man . . . I hate what [Kim] is doing.€
Journalist Pat Lalama, who has covered the Baldwin-Basinger
divorce and custody battle since their break-up seven
years ago, recently told CNN: €œIn all the years
that I have covered celebrities . . . this was one of
the meanest exchanges between two human beings . . .
some of the things that Kim Basinger was demanding, in
order to humiliate him, were outrageous . . . [Baldwin]
was provoked by an angry ex, which I'm guessing is
probably the case here, [and] he went over the edge.€
Earlier this year Baldwin charged that Basinger has:
violated his visitation rights; interfered with his
phone access to Ireland; and not notified him when she
was going to be out of town so Baldwin could care for
Ireland himself rather than leaving her with Basinger's
baby-sitters.
In court Baldwin produced messages that Basinger gave
Ireland before Ireland's visits with Baldwin. The
messages, which were printed on chocolate bar wrappers,
implied that Basinger had been mistreated by Baldwin and
that Basinger and Ireland are aligned together.
Despite this, Baldwin has made legitimate attempts to
placate Basinger in the best interests of their child.
In November he even went on €œLarry King Live€ and
praised Basinger, telling King, €œI think she's a great
mother, yes, a good mom.€
In the long run, the apparent decision to leak the
tape to the media €“ in violation of a court order €“ is
far more damaging to Ireland than Baldwin's angry
tirade. Had the tape not been leaked, Baldwin would have
apologized to Ireland, and the incident would have been
soon forgotten. Instead, Ireland will be embarrassed by
the incident for the rest of her childhood.
One tactic frequently employed by alienating mothers
is to try to provoke the father into blowing his top by
interfering with his relationship with his children.
When he does, mom pretends to be scared of €œhis awful
temper,€ and gets the father's already limited role in
his daughter's life reduced. Baldwin was foolish to play
into Basinger's hands.
As the target parent of parental alienation, Baldwin
is in a very difficult and painful situation. John
Stossel, in his new book €œMyths, Lies and Downright
Stupidity: Get Out the Shovel €“ Why Everything You Know
is Wrong,€ describes an example of parental alienation
he filmed for his TV show:
€œWe videotaped one such heartbreaking scene. A divorced
father went to see his five kids for what he thought
would be a full-day visit. He was entitled to that,
under court order, and the court also ordered the mother
not to discourage the children from spending time with
their father. But she clearly had poisoned his
children's minds against him. The father just stood
outside his ex-wife's house and begged his children,
'Would you like to go out with me today?' 'No,' said one
kid after another. Then the mother ordered the kids back
into her house.
€œWhat comes through on the tape is the unbridled
satisfaction of the mother and the helplessness of the
father.€
Can any parent reading this honestly say that, were
they in this father's shoes, they would never blow their
top?
Leving is a family law attorney. He is the author of
€œDivorce Wars: A Field Guide to the Winning Tactics,
Preemptive Strikes, and Top Maneuvers When Divorce Gets
Ugly.€ Sacks writes frequently on men's and fathers'
issues.
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